Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

I've held on to this verse over the last few years as God has taken me in several different directions with my love of writing. Since I was first learning to write in kindergarten I truly, truly loved the art. I still communicate much better through pen and paper than I do verbally.

My senior year in college I really explored what it looked like to be an artist in the realm of writing, but being a Christian first. I think so many artists identify with their artistic side before identifying with Christ, and I honestly didn't want to do that. As weird as it may sound to some, writing (or art in general) can totally be an idol. It also puts you in a vulnerable spot when you share essays, poems, and thoughts about what God's teaching you. It's a love hate relationship, as anything worth pursuing is. So, when I decided to blog, I really wanted God to do His work through words He gives me. And I've been encouraged to hear some of you over the last year or so talk about how this blog has changed you in some way, usually, hopefully, prayerfully, for good. This blog is meeting God's purposes and plans if it's making my readers more like Him in some way.

With all that to be said, God shows me over and over again that if I continue to delight myself in Him, HE - the Holy Spirit - inspires more words, more creativity, more ideas. God is my muse. His Word fuels my ideas. If anyone would ask me these last few years what my dream job would be, I would say something like, "Being a stay at home mom and getting to write about what God shows me in my life and family."

And guess what? As I've really tried to pursue God's purposes for how writing should fit into my life, and not shying away from using the gifts He's given me, He's dropping the coolest opportunity right in my lap!

Dianne Jago is a blogging friend I've gotten to know over the last year. We were both pregnant at the same time and I know God used both of our blogs in each other's life to encourage and teach one another. As much as I act like I despise technology at times, her blog is one reason I KNOW God uses modern technology to teach others, and one reason I see hope in continuing on with my own blog.

So, this opportunity I'm talking about? I'm getting there. haha

A few weeks ago I got a message from Dianne asking if I'd like to contribute to her new project, Deeply Rooted Magazine. As I read her thoughts and descriptions of what she was feeling God call her to do with this publication, I was bursting with excitement! Seriously, ask B. I don't think I've stopped talking about it since then. ;) haha I was up all night thinking about how cool it is that God allowed me to meet this friend through the internet, form this encouraging relationship, and then get to create art in a way that glorifies HIM through it! It truly is a desire of mine to encourage other women, moms, and wives through God's divine words and what He's taught me, in a vibrant and creative way. And now I get to!

Check out the above link to get more info on the publication. Please be in prayer for us as we work on this project. Pray that God would be shown in each article. Pray that the group of artists working on this publication are about HIS glory, and not our own. Also, pray that God would bring another great, Christian photographer to Utah to work with me, since Gregory Woodman is peacing out pretty soon. :( haha

Again, I am just so thankful that we have a creative God who WANTS us to create out of worship of Him!! So fun!! I hope this encourages some of you to delight in Him through whatever means of creativity He has gifted you with. :)

xoxo

A command.

"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10

If you're like me (which you are), then you're work oriented. You tend to either view this verse as a command that must be followed, or you view it as an excuse to make guilt free quiet time while the dishes and laundry pile up. Tonight B is out, and it's just me and Ari at home, so I took some quiet time to reflect, read, and write. This is an excerpt taken from my notebook:

"I feel like I finally started paying attention more when I became a mom. I don't even want to take my eyes off the yellow-white light flickering through the papery tree leaves long enough to write this.

I guess I want to redeem every fleeting second I have with Ari. I want to remember every facial expression, memorize each movement of his eye brows, each new sound he delights in making. I feel like I want to immortalize each moment I spend with him.

I remember reading some trascendentalist in college who talked about seeing the world the way Adam did, everything captivating and so new for the very first time. I watch Ari look at the world that way amd it fills me with longing. It's almost like he sees the shards of perfection left in the world from the Fall. He's still amazed by the aspen's leaves in our yard each time we come out here. For two years now I've acted like this thing doesn't even exist anymore. That's how little I pay attention to it.

Seeing the way my little boy is exploring the world for the very first time gives me a desire to look at it with renewed eyes. Ari sees the genius of the Creator of the different textures of leaves, the very Creator who I seem to have forgotten about."

"It is my own believe (and here I shall not feel bad if no one follows me) that every good and beautiful thing which man has produced in the world has been the result of his faulty and sin-blocked response to the creative Voice sounding over the earth. The moral philosophers who dreamed their high dreams of virtue, the religious thinkers who speculated about God and immortality, the poets and artists who created out of common stuff pure and lasting beauty: How can we explain them? It is not enough to say simply, 'It was genius.'

What then is genius? Could it be that a genius is a man haunted by the speaking Voice, laboring and striving like one possessed to achieve ends which he only vaguely understands? "

-A.W. Tozer in 'The Pursuit of God' (pgs 74-5)

 It's a heavenly perspective that gives us a greater appreciation for any creation or art.

Maybe Ari is still young enough, "sheltered" enough, or set apart from the world in such a way that he's being allowed time to cultivate this heavenly perspective. I don't know what it is, but almost every single time I pluck up any energy to pursue creative writing and cultivating inspiration for creating I get sucked into this thought that it's all vanity. That immediately kills any creative juices I got flowing.

After a quick conversation with a fellow artist this evening, I was reminded that it's actually selfish to not put time and effort into cultivating creativity so I have something to share with others. I totally view writing, music, art, and any other medium as creative gifts given straight from God. If that's the case, then it's my job to cultivate that gift in such a way that builds others up. I'd really be bummed today if I didn't have all the books C.S. Lewis wrote on my shelves because he put down the pen after hearing, "It's all vanity!" whispered in his ear. I know of a few people off the top of my head that wouldn't be Christians if he had never picked up a pen! How crazy is that!? It's heavy, actually. It means my words can actually make an impact for the Kingdom. Heavy stuff.

And with those thoughts, I post this piece in faith that God is using this blog to speak to someone tonight.

xoxo

P.S. I find it helpful to find out what another writer or artist has been reading, watching, eating, listening to, etc to be creatively filled up, so I think I'll start sharing that with you guys. Tonight I was thumbing through an old favorite on art and faith, Walking on Water, as well as The Pursuit of God, which I can honestly say is one of the most challenging books I have ever read. And I read lots of books.

On the menu for this evening: whole wheat crackers, provolone cheese, and homemade nutter butters. Happy snacking and writing! ;)


  

Our little boy's ecclectic nature nursery.

I'm not sure if that's even what you would call it, but here are a few snapshots of our little boy's room. I think I've mentioned it before, but he is sharing space with his daddy. :) I wasn't too happy about it at first, but I tried really, really, really, really hard not to fight about it. Then one day while I was praying about it, God showed me how thankful I should be that my husband is willing to share the same room (office/nursery) with our son, when most kids in America go to bed at night without a dad around. That totally changed my perspective, and I'm super excited for my boys to have a hang out spot. ;) haha

Those are the prints I blogged about here. I bought the postcard size of them and found some inexpensive wooden frames from Hobby Lobby. You can also see one of the knit mushrooms my very creative friend Amy made for me, by request. She rocks! She is a great, great cook (so check out her blog) and she knit the cutest sweater vest for out little one, and got us some awesome vintage books!! I love used books and handmade things. :) To the left is a jar of eggs. haha It's very random, but I decided to add it anyways. For some reason I bought a glass egg on our honeymoon, and then somewhere else after that, and I just buy them wherever I can find them now. I told my gramma about them once and she had a few that (I believe?) her  mom had collected, so she brought them to me on one of her trips out here. So now I have a jar of eggs that people in my family have been collecting for a few generations. I thought it fit the nature theme. What do you think? ;) haha

I collect framed butterflies, which I've talked about before. This was my first collection one of my uncle's bought me from a flea market. After that, I was in love with the vintage ones, but they are VERY expensive. B got me another set when he went to Cambodia. My parents brought those with them on their last trip down, so I will hang them soon as well. I really want to get some other framed bugs, as weird as that sounds. Maybe some bumble bees or beetles. I have a few other small collections around the house. They are so colorful! I also made the garland out of old fabric scraps I had laying around. A friend of mine mentioned that they look like butterflies. I hadn't noticed, but they totally do look like fluttery wings. :) It adds to the nature theme, I guess.

I love these woodland animals! My boss just gave us the deer yesterday, and I wanted to keep it for myself to cuddle with. ;)

One of the gals in my creative workshop does calligraphy art. I so wish I could write that beautifully! I found a poetry book on motherhood at a thrift store a few months after I got pregnant. This is one of my favorite poems I found in it. I thought the title was so adorable too!! So, she wrote it up! How gorgeous is it!? I haven't framed it yet, but I intend to. I will eventually hang it in there as well. This is the actual poem, since you can't read it from the picture:

To a Little Invisible Being Who is Expected Soon To Become Visible

by Anna Laetitia Barbauld

Germ of new life, whose powers expanding slow

For many a moon their full perfection wait,—

Haste, precious pledge of happy love, to go

Auspicious borne through life's mysterious gate.

What powers lie folded in thy curious frame,—

Senses from objects locked, and mind from thought!

How little canst thou guess thy lofty claim

To grasp at all the worlds the Almighty wrought!

And see, the genial season's warmth to share,

Fresh younglings shoot, and opening roses glow!

Swarms of new life exulting fill the air,—

Haste, infant bud of being, haste to blow!

For thee the nurse prepares her lulling songs,

The eager matrons count the lingering day;

But far the most thy anxious parent longs

On thy soft cheek a mother's kiss to lay.

She only asks to lay her burden down,

That her glad arms that burden may resume;

And nature's sharpest pangs her wishes crown,

That free thee living from thy living tomb.

She longs to fold to her maternal breast

Part of herself, yet to herself unknown;

To see and to salute the stranger guest,

Fed with her life through many a tedious moon.

Come, reap thy rich inheritance of love!

Bask in the fondness of a Mother's eye!

Nor wit nor eloquence her heart shall move

Like the first accents of thy feeble cry.

Haste, little captive, burst thy prison doors!

Launch on the living world, and spring to light!

Nature for thee displays her various stores,

Opens her thousand inlets of delight.

If charmed verse or muttered prayers had power,

With favouring spells to speed thee on thy way,

Anxious I'd bid my beads each passing hour,

Till thy wished smile thy mother's pangs o'erpay.

I randomly pulled stuff from around the house that I thought fit the theme and just added it to these shelves. I really have a thing for eggs and butterflies, I guess. The butterfly in that blown glass was a housewarming gift from my brother in law. haha I got those little wooden boxes for $3 from Target. I've been collecting those books since I was in high school. And I didn't think a nature room was complete without a real, living plant. :) I've been quite pleased with it! It's a pathos house plant. They are supposed to be very easy to take care of, as far as indoor plants go. I love the bright shade of green it adds. I somehow ended up with dark aqua and lime green being some of the main colors in this room. :)

Hope you enjoyed the mini nursery tour! I kept it very minimal, but I really love it. :)

xoxo

Quiet times.

B finished up this semester a few days ago. He's taking a break for a while with baby coming soon. I'm done with most stuff at work, and I have only one more stop to make at Babies R Us this afternoon then I'm DONE with all my running around related to baby. I think this is the real nesting setting in. The sitting at home, enjoying an always-messy-but-lived-in look this place has going on with all the adjustments to baby things: high chair, children's books, monitors glowing from the corner of the room. This is crazy, guys. :) But I feel a sense of quiet and peace after these last few crazy weeks. I'm really, really trying to be patient and wait on God's timing for this kid to be born. Only three weeks left to go. Keep praying for health and safety for us! God's taught me to let go of soooo many things during this pregnancy: an abundance of riches and a birth plan only include a few of them. haha

All that to be said, we were able to get out and enjoy the beautiful, golden Utah air up in the canyon Sunday night. We got out and went on a little hike (that I had to convince B to let me go on). It's my favorite hike around, 36 weeks pregnant or not pregnant, because it really is the easiest, and in my opinion, the prettiest. Wheeler Canyon opens up to a pretty field. Oh, I just love it!

Our friend Greg brought along his new camera and snapped some adorable pics. haha (Thanks for blessing us with your creativity!) All the guys that went with us were very patient with me as I slowly hopped down rocky hills and hobbled through part of the stream. It was so much fun!

I told them a secret...I couldn't remember when the last time I had washed my hair was. ;) But you can't tell....................riiiight? haha

The guys were snapping pictures of everything. The air truly was golden as we hiked higher up and looked back down. I love that natural gold color. Even when we got home last night from our (maybe last) dessert date before baby comes, our house was filled with that same golden hue as the sun was going down. I just love it! So much that I wrote a poem about it once....here it is:

this iridescent hour 

gold light filters through white, wooden blinds

a mist of stars

 hanging in the air

this is the light housewives have worked by

for many, many centuries

and i am home, sick

partaking in this iridescent hour

 

-feb. 22, 2012

(Side note: It's scary to share poetry, no matter what context it's in. ;) Thanks for reading and letting me do it a little more often.)

I think it was B who made this comment as we kept hiking and everyone was taking pictures.

"God really must love photographers..."

That really made me stop and think. It's true! He must love them! He must love the absolute joy they take in HIS creations, snapping picture after picture, making God feel proud and desrving of the glory He gets in those moments. I've been thinking about that all week. I sometimes overlook how art really can relate to my Christian walk, and abandon my pen and any other artform I practice in the midst of the busyness of life. Maybe sometimes I just need to get out and hike with my camera as an act of worship to God, thanking Him for creating that unique, golden hue that can only be found in nature.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy some of the sights we got to see.

xoxo

P.S. Did anyone hear the news that we have a baby due THIS month?? Whaaa whaaat? Crazy sauce! :D

What more could this girl want in a blog?

I recently found a blog about two of my favorite things, in one place!! It's called: Eat This Poem. Food and poetry equals love in my book. I love, love, love writing poems about food, breakfast dates, traveling and finding fun cuisines, as well as reading poetry about food. So, so fun! You totally have to check it out.

A poem about radishes. Now who would think to write about that!? Check out this post for the poem I loved. :)

While prepping for workshop tonight, I ran across this quote from one of my favorites, G.K. Chesterton:

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

Now, anyone who knows me knows I. love. cheese. Up until my doctor asked me to cut it out of my diet for part of this pregnancy, I would buy (I'm not even lying) AT LEAST six different types of cheese each week on my grocery trips. B and I loooove trying new cheeses. I feel like a high class snob at times because a lot of our late night snacking in bed includes fruit, cheese, and crackers. haha Anyways, Chesterton's quote was kind of a challenge for me. Maybe I'll be attempting a poem about cheese at workshop tonight. ;)

Happy poetry reading!

xoxo

Photo credit from Eat This Poem.

A breakfast I think Edith Schaeffer would appreciate.

B got to stay home with me again this morning for breakfast. Since I'm on Spring Break and have nothing other than tons of cleaning and organizing to get done this week, you better believe I took the opportunity to make this super easy Dutch Baby Pancake. I love this recipe because it truly was so easy, and you could add any fruit or topping you have. I also used half whole wheat to boost the protein. I was so happy when I opened the oven to see the tall wall of Dutch pancake that I unknowingly created. I forgot how beautiful it would look once cooked!

While cooking it I was thinking about Edith Schaeffer. Specifically, I was thinking about the few recipes she shared in one of her books that were just as easy as this one.

I've talked about Mrs. Schaeffer and all her wonderfully creative books before. She truly is one of those Proverbs 31 women I look up to as a young wife and soon to be mom. It's amazing to me how many times I've actually been made fun of by brothers and sisters in Christ for absolutely loving being so homeward focused (while still working part time) and serving my husband. Yes, I do iron his clothes for him every Sunday night, even if it doesn't look like it by the time he gets to worship practice in the morning, and I do because God has given me a heart that finds joy in serving and helping my husband. One of the best gifts my husband can ever given to me is when I hear him sigh when he comes home from work or a long day of meetings and say, "I love being home." Mrs. Schaeffer greatly encouraged me in finding my God-given role as a homemaker through her writing. One topic I could go on and on about is art and Christianity, and she writes about that often as well, as the while keeping Jesus at the center of everything. That is so, so important, and she manages to do it, and do it well. So well that the Lord gave her 98 year to serve Him and others through her giftings on this earth!! I was so happy to see that number 98 pop up on the article announcing her death. 98 full years her on this earth, and I know she's dancing right alongside her husband right now in heaven for our King Jesus.

I could go on and anaylze her books like the English major that I am, complete with quotes, citations, and lengthy footnotes, but I'll leave that for another time. (Maybe I should start reviewing books on here?) I do want to share one of the things God has impressed on my heart over the two short years of being married from reading her books.

We are a ministry family. God's called us to that. As of right now we are praying about the specific things God has called us to as a family in the realms of church planting. But being in ministry as a young wife for the last (almost) two years now, I have had a few of those experiences where some hungry and hurting friend shows up at your door and you need to cook up some lunch for them, or you have to figure out how to accomodate space for 30 or more people in your tiny dollhouse sized home, as well as dinners, and oh yeah, where will the children play? :) It's always chaotic, but these times are looked back upon as fond memories where we did watch Jesus move. I don't remember the stress of the moment, or some ingredient I may have forgotten to ruin the entire dinner.

That being said, God really impressed a specific term ( I guess you could call it that?) upon my heart through Mrs. Scheffer's writings. It's not a term she ever used, it's just something God has called me to cultivate in my home, family, and in ministry. That term or calling He has been teaching me about through my journaling, reading, and many notes that I've taken over the last two years is creating a Jesus culture. I really felt God saying that's what takes places when you open your home for ministry to happen. You are welcoming a group of people from many different cultures and backgrounds to partake in a common thing, that common thing hopefully being a relationship with Jesus. It was my second to last semester in college when I first picked up her books and I really felt God asking me to be open and okay with many different cultures and backgrounds in my life. I'm still not sure what this means today, but God has again and again asked me that. He has also shared with me that I'm not simply opening up a room made out of paint and wood, but a place that needs to be inviting and welcoming for people to want to spend time there and share their hearts. More very recently God spoke to me again about this Jesus culture He is calling me to cultivate, and I took down another note about what He was telling me in my commonplace. Here it is:

"2/15: Jesus culture: creating a culture where people are able to grow, confess sin, repent, and be broken totally without fear of fear or judgment."

Due to lessons learned in my own life, God was showing me how desperately important it is to not be judgemental of people so they feel accepted and able to confess and repent sin. Acceptance was the word God was really placing on my heart. So, today all I know is Jesus is calling me to help encourage this creative culture through art, ministry, homemaking, and openly accepting and loving others in my home. Still not sure what this means for the future, but God is slowly revealing it to me. (I hope this made sense to someone out there.)

How does this relate to Mrs. Schaeffer? Well, she was really all about that. She is all about flowers at the table, for no other show but to display thought and love you put in to the preparation and meal for the people you are breaking bread with. She is all about encouraging loud laughter from little boys as they run around the house banging on pots and pans. Who knows, maybe God blessed you with a little psalmist from your womb and this is his way of glorifying Jesus with music from a young age. Just think about that: walking in to a colorful home where music is constantly playing, goodies are hot from the oven, and you are always, always welcome to come over and share some thoughts and tea. Who wouldn't want to hang out there? :)

So ladies, I highly encourage you to pick up one of her books. :) See what gifts God has given you to cultivate in your family for His glory. For more reading about Mrs. Schaeffer, these are two articles I've loved reading this week: my favorite being I Owe My Home to Edith Schaeffer and then Challies' article.

I also wanted to share this article on being married young. I married at 19, my husband was 20, and we're about to have our first little boy at 21 and 22. I'm learning how truly crazy we are for doing this, but God is so good and He is the one that sustains any marriage, young or old. Believe me, God is asking me to trust Him over and over again each day that it truly is better for me to walk this life beside my husband, than it would be for me to walk it alone (Genesis 2:18). Happy reading, friends!

xoxo

It comes and goes.

That's energy that I'm talking about. These days at least. I've got to make the most of it when I can, even if that means planning out my nesting and meals when I'm awake at 4 a.m. haha! Today I got home around 4 after a long, but good, day at work, and sat down on the couch with some water and my laptop, planning on never getting up again for the rest of the night. But alas, I talked myself into doing my workout, and I've suddenly had energy ever since. Yesterday I went crazy to town making all sorts of things for the babies room , and one cute project for myself, and I've had enough energy in the last hour to finish some of them up. :)

Please know that I am generally not this crafty, I promise. At least...I'm not as crafty as many other people I know. I did many of these projects because I was able to use things from around my house or they required basic craft supplies that I have on hand from past projects. These are also projects I've been keeping track of on my pinterest boards for months now, and have finally decided to just do them, so it's not like I find something and get it made before dinner time. ;) It's takes lots and lots of pins, time, and courage. haha

This book garland was super easy to make! I made it for the baby boy's room, but my baby shower is also book themed, so I thought it would be cute to use there as well. I just pulled the pages out of an old book I had around the house that I've used in the past for various projects. I also had the string. I did buy the mini clothes pins, but I plan on using those in lots of different ways in the baby's room, so I didn't mind spending the 1.50 or whatever they were (plus my teacher's discount at Michael's! Score!). The paper that I used for the book covers I did buy, but just because they were .59 each and I didn't have a spare cereal box on hand. I do plan on making some more where I use cereal boxes and just paint them, or the pattern of the boxes themselves may be kind of cute and add to the creative mix.

 

 

I always check the clearance for acrylic paint. I usually find some funky colors for .19. I think this was one of those colors I found, but I just so happen to be using it in the baby's room quite a bit. I bought these letters right after we were married to use this idea in our bedroom, I just never got around to finishing it. Plus, I think it looks much cuter for the little guy's room. I've got them sitting above the doorframe of his room, and I'm going to cut out a small cardboard star or two and paint them gold and stick them up there as well.

 

 

 These toilet paper roll owls are so adorable!! I'm going to make a few more and set them on different shelves in his room. I think it's so fun how you can create different personalities with each owl. This was a very, very cheap project!! I think everyone in America has spare toilet paper rolls on hand.

 

 



And last but not least, these fun flats that I repainted!! I am a sucker for any item of clothing that has a cat on it...so I had to make these when I saw the how-to. The paint was a little old, so who knows how long they'll last, but I think I originally purchased the shoes for just a couple of bucks anyways. And they aren't the most comfortable, so I've only worn them one or two times, but now I have a cute reason to push through the pain! ;)

I hope you guys enjoyed checking up on my nesting projects. :) Do you see a theme of some sort coming together? haha

xoxo

I love these words.

"The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; by his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew." Proverbs 3:19-20

God created through His wisdom and knowledge. How crazy is that!? When I think of creative worship songs, this is one of my top favorites. The words are so, so powerful. My hubby and the worship band did this one last week. I just have to share because I love it so much. Enjoy!

xoxo

Sometimes, I would put my pen down.

One of my professors in college said that as writers, we want to be reading writing that is so breath taking and well crafted that we want to put our pens down forever, knowing we could never create something that compares. I was reminded of this today as I was reading through a book of poetry on motherhood I picked up at the thrift store a while ago.

 

 

I loved studying Anne Bradstreet in school. One, because she was a Christian and I could relate to the views shared through her journaling and poetry. And two, because she journaled and wrote poetry, and for many of the same reasons I do. I stumbled upon her when I was trying to figure out the whole point in journaling and the role it played in my faith. Journaling can often feel pointless, filling notebook after notebook, sometimes wishing nobody would ever peek, and other times desiring to share a treasure we've authored. In a letter she wrote to one of her children explaining why she journaled, she said she hoped they could gain some wisdom from her writing somehow, even if it was simply "what not to do." When I read that it clicked for me that a major part of why I journal (through prayer, regular journaling, this blog, any writing I do really) has a lot to do with sharing wisdom and things God has shown me to others. Anyways, I really enjoyed one of the poems I came across in this collection today, and was pleased to see it was by my Mrs. Bradstreet. :) I have to share.

 

Before the Birth of One of Her Children

All things within this fading world hath end, Adversity doth still our joys attend; No ties so strong, no friends so dear and sweet, But with death's parting blow are sure to meet. The sentence past is most irrevocable, A common thing, yet oh, inevitable. How soon, my Dear, death may my steps attend, How soon't may be thy lot to lose thy friend, We both are ignorant, yet love bids me These farewell lines to recommend to thee, That when the knot's untied that made us one, I may seem thine, who in effect am none. And if I see not half my days that's due, What nature would, God grant to yours and you; The many faults that well you know I have Let be interred in my oblivious grave; If any worth or virtue were in me, Let that live freshly in thy memory And when thou feel'st no grief, as I no harmes, Yet love thy dead, who long lay in thine arms, And when thy loss shall be repaid with gains Look to my little babes, my dear remains. And if thou love thyself, or loved'st me, These O protect from stepdame's injury. And if chance to thine eyes shall bring this verse, With some sad sighs honor my absent hearse; And kiss this paper for thy dear love's sake, Who with salt tears this last farewell did take.   A bit of a random switch in genres, but B got me Listener's album, Wooden Heart, today. It gave me hope that this white girl could learn to rock some spoken word. (Anybody who knows what spoken word is also knows how ridiculous I would be attempting it.) Again, their writing just left me in confusion as to how someone could come up with lyrics so clever and creative. Here is my favorite from the album. It's called Seatbelt Hands.     She's the kind of lady that calls everybody baby Honey sugar sweetie she's always making friends And she keeps us all locked outside her thick leather skin She always starts with a smile it's small and butter yellow But easier than a handshake doesn't like her hands touched She tans alot gets burnt alot smoking through the cartons But then gets put out so much she's considered a bargain She was born on the fourth of july with her hand on her heart Loves america & being patronized no one ever told her to guard her heart She was an angel for halloween once but never again And for christmas ever year she's haunted by demons They always tell her they love her.   She used to believe in innocence until she lost it And spent a long summer riding the trains She has cats and collectors plates to keep her sane Watching tv in her favorite chair...both of which are rented She's alone and surrounds herself with loners Her life is a loan lent out to anyone who will own her Waiting for the night to sweep her off her feet while she mops the bathroom floor Hoping for a winning ticket or a man to treat her right But they're both a gamble and she's been a loser all her life   And if she had a nickel for every time she's been punched and kicked She'd put it together with her camel cash try to buy some happiness They always tell her they love her but then they take something from her. She would always show us her dreams They were crumpled up like leaves from holding on too tight Scattered in her shoebox coffin on the cardboard walls covered in butterflies She's got love in her heart for her babies and hope in her mind for tomorrow And blood on her hands that only she sees holding the last bit of time that's borrowed But you never know where that heart has been and we'll never know how hard it's been I wanna cut open my chest and let her in but that won't fix what needs to mend   And she stands there unlit cigarette in hand Filling up that empty hole with anything that'll pour Insides hanging out like a flare warning. There's beauty in that pain can you see it? She's crashing through life with seat belt hands One accident away from a miracle And there's an honesty there but i can't take it all in She hides the worst of it in the wrinkles That's the ache you get when there's no where else to go. And she's got no where else to go she doesn't want to go there. So i promise i'll go with her.   Can you say wow? How deep, truthful, yet brutal. As my fellow artist friend Nate says, "Your work is only as light as it is dark."   xoxo

 



A home is a garden.

I haven't really wanted to nest lately. Sadly. Fearfully. What does that mean? Probably that I'm just busy and can't bring myself to go out and spend any money to cutesy up the baby room. So today we're hanging out at home all day after B gets home from church. I'm taking this time to search around the web for some more cute, affordable things to include in the nursery, and I'm hoping to hit up some thrift stores this week. (Anyone wanna make a trip to SLC with me? ;)) I've hit a sort of creative block with the nursery and keep talking myself down about it. "It doesn't have to be cool....he doesn't need anything, blah, blah, blah." Yes, that's all true, but I think I'd enjoy the next three months more and work through this ridiculous anticipation by staying busy making a little Hobbit hole for my little boy. Also, I've always stood my the conviction that a house becomes a home when creativity is encouraged and present. God placed Adam and Eve in the most creative, colorful, expressive garden that ever has been planted in history. That was the home He made for them before sin came and made homemaking more of a chore. I want to encourage the same sort of environment for my little ones, so they know God IS a creative God, and He has made us creative to reflect His image. (These thoughts and more were encouraged when I read The Hidden Art of Homemaking which I've mentioned before.)

While searching on Etsy, I found this adorable shop! I love all these prints!! How could I decide on just one? :)

This was the first one I came across. It has all the little animals I'm trying to incorporate (but still haven't?). But look at the others! Aren't they darling? Very earthy, yet creative and storybook-like. They sort of remind me of Where the Wild Things Are.

 

 

Ahhhhhh!!! Foxes AND France? Oh my!

 

Hopefully my creative juices are being stirred. Have a relaxing Sunday afternoon!

 

xoxo

 



On my Bookshelf: Part 1

As I'm getting ready for our workshop tonight, I wanted to share some books to get your creative juices going. Most of these I have read, a few I haven't, but have for specific creative reasons (which I will explain). I also wanted to share to show you that there are many books out there that people may not view as creative, but really almost any book can get "creative" juices going (either because you agree or disagree with what it's saying, giving you something to write about). I spent many times in college worshiping Jesus through reading textbooks about child psychology or boring early American literature, while getting my thoughts going.

These are a few of the books I'm choosing to take tonight. We are going to do a little "First we read, then we write" activity. We'll each pick a book and read through it for about 10 minutes, taking down any notes, creative thoughts, or ideas that are sparked while reading. Then we'll provide time to expand on one thought. First, they're picking a book to read, then they're writing about whatever the heck came to mind while writing. (Yes, this is totally a preview to any of you guys that are coming tonight!! ;) )

So, from top to bottom:

The Christian's Secrets of a Happy Life : This is one I haven't read. I have it because I often turn to my best friend's mom for suggestions on creative books when my creative well is dry. (She writes like me, only much more seriously at this point than I do! GO JEN!) This is one of the books she told me to grab over a year ago when I was in college and trying to figure out what my life as a Christian writer/artist of any kind looked like, and if that was even what God was calling me to. I plan on getting around to it eventually. I've also heard the title is much cheesier sounding than the book itself.

A Poetry Handbook : This was one of the two "textbooks" required when I took my poetry class last Spring. Very simple straight forward book on all the how-to's about poetry. Anyone who doesn't know a thing about poetry could pick this up and learn. I am a truly tone-deaf poet. I couldn't scan a line of poetry to save my life, but this book was very helpful on teaching me to use other sound devices in poetry to keep a beat going. Also, I love Mary Oliver's poetry! I'm not too big into many poets that are still living (I mean, who is? ;) It's cooler to read their stuff once they've died. Ha!), but on our last weekend trip to SLC I picked up her poetry book, A Thousand Mornings, and was really in love with it! I also follow her on twitter (haha) and  really enjoy reading one liners from her poems every now and then.

How to Write a Sentence: And How to Read One: This was the other "textbook" required for my upper division poetry class. I guess you could say this is more for the grammarian, which was helpful for me because I'm not too much of a grammarian. I'm a creative writer, not a technical writer, but I need grammar to polish up any creative writing, so this was a good one for those sort of things!

About Time : This is one of my nerdier books, but it just goes to show you how science can help in the area of creativity! I can't actually remember if I've read it, but I believe I've scanned it. For a while there I was really in to studying the theory of time because of a poem I was writing. I was amazed at the idea that time is slower (or faster? I don't remember now) the more you travel away from the earth. See, I may even have this wrong, but the whole idea of that being possible is so fascinating to me! So I got this book to help me understand it, and hopefully help add to my poetry writing. Research totally helps add meat to your writing!

The Prayers of Kierkagaard : For my notebooks and journaling class, I had to pick an artist's notebook to read and present on. I was going to do this one, but somebody else in the class got to it before I did. (I ended up presenting on Pascal's Pensees another great Christian artist, writer, inventor who I think I get to teach on a bit in this semester's School of Worship! woohoo) Even though this is debated, Kierkegaard is regarded as a Christian in some circles, but he was also dabbling into Existentialism (I wish my hubby was home so I could confirm that). Either way, his book of prayers is esentially just like my prayer journal that I (try) to write in every morning, but it's so cool to look into the heart of another artist calling on God to infuse their art! So, so cool!

Alright, well that's lots of books to chew on for now. I'll share more in the future (literally, shelves and shelves more), as I really enjoy the sharing of books that influence creativity in people's lives. Any suggestions out there? :) I hope you guys can stop by the library this weekend and pick something up! :) Remember, there is always, always, always something inspiring in God's Word too! Psalm 45:1 says, "My heart overflows with a pleasing theme; I address my verses to the king; my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe." I love, love, love this verse and bring it up lots in the workshop because it just reminds me of the endless themes we have in God's Word to write about and meditate on for creativity. You could never exhaust any numbers of pens or pages just exploring the topic of God's grace towards us, and that's just ONE of thousands and thousands of topics. Anyways, so always remember to go to God's Word first for creative inspiration! Ask the Holy Spirit, and He will inspire!

xoxo

A mind awake & thoughts on creativity as a job.

Yes, I'm typing this before it's even 5 a.m. I'm not one of those people who is only artistic after the sun goes down, as well as everyone else in the house. I'm just the opposite. My heart and brain seem to be the most optimistic BEFORE the sun comes up (these long, dark wintery days at least). So I was laying in bed this morning around 3:30 a.m. with thoughts like these...

"Oh, I could go get that bookshelf packed up to finish up the little one's room. I could also probably get a few good hours of reading those three different books in: I'd like to know more about essential oils in pregnancy...or I could always get in an extra early morning workout. Hmmm...what about coffee? It's kind of early to eat. I'd just have to have a second breakfast. What's that, baby? Second breakfast is ok with you? Dad's already at work? You're right. I should get up and do some creative work too!!" :)

And that's how it happened. As it usually does. And here I am on the couch, in a flannel quilt, curled up with my laptop writing this. As far back as I can remember, I've pretty much always been a morning person. B and I are also pretty big homebodies, which I am very thankful for. I'm thankful my husband likes and prefers being in our home, with me. So by seven thirty most nights we're usually curled up together catching up on a favorite T.V. show, reading, or (like last night) already asleep. haha I know being pregnant and tired all the time just adds to my lack of ability to stay up past 9 p.m.

But really. This is when I'm most creative. Usually 4 a.m. until noon. And then, sadly, my energy quickly starts to drop and there's just nothing I can do about this. As long as I get up and just write, read, work, organize, whatever for those 8 hours before the afternoon, I don't feel so bad about only having energy to do some laundry and cooking in the afternoon. It would be worse if I just stayed in bed until 8 or so like a normal person, because I still wouldn't have energy in the afternoon. My body just hasn't worked that way for some time now...I think my early mornings working at Starbucks messed that up. haha

I can get a whole set of poems, catch up on journal entries, write a blog, read my Bible and work on my prayer journal, get caught up on my own for fun reading, and plan dinner all before everyone else in the world wakes up. Yes, I'm one of those annoyingly happy people in the morning that B graciously has learned to deal with and usually just laugh at if her rolls over to find me wide eyed and starring at him at 7:30. But the funny thing is that because of my high energy levels in the mornings, and the early afternoon gloom that sets in, I really like to stick to my morning routine and work, so I HATE being out of the house before 10 a.m. most days. I just know I'm losing work time. haha How weird is that?

Anyways, on to other creative thoughts. Picture a whale spouting out all that water as you read this next part. It was something I was thinking about for a while the other day, and it all just kind of came out in one big breath like a whale's watery exhales. (Is that what they're even doing when that happens?) And this is still along the lines of creativity and work, so that's why I'm including it here.

"Being creative is a JOB.

A creative writer or artist is always on the clock. 

One place you can’t take commonplaces is in the shower. And unfortunately that’s where all the creative brainstorming took place today since it’s the only down time I seem to have this week. So here I am, trying to write this before my hair is even dry so I don’t forget everything I’m thinking.

Being creative really is a job. Or at least it feels that way this week. I have multiple things lined up to do each day this week, on top of a regular job, staying homeward focused, being a wifey, and staying “'reative.' I would tell you each and every thing I have on my to-do list just to make my point, but I’m trying to grumble. I truly enjoy being busy (aside from the sleepless zombie-fog I’ve been in the last few weeks). The point is simply that I’m realizing what  ajob staying and being creative is in and of itself.

I get paid to teach three year olds about Jesus, their letters, numbers, and doing arts and crafts. This job is a blessing, and I do it two days a week, on the clock from 7:30-3:30. I’m also picking up a job writing a grant for a new charter school (one of the many things on my to do list this week). Those are the things God has chosen to put in my life to help supply part of our needs at this time.

My list of unpaid jobs, ones that I think are just as meaningful and make just as much of an impact as teaching kids about Jesus can, is even longer. When I picked the Creative Writing program for my bachelor’s I KNEW I wasn’t picking it for the money. Ha! Are you kidding me? I’ve FINALLY landed my first PAID writing job where I get to do what I want to do (aside from the newspaper I worked for) and I haven’t even been able to write anything yet because the people I’m writing about are always in and out of town or country. Needless to say, I’m not in this creative business for the money. I’ve spent a lot of time asking God to use this degree and the gifts He’s given me for His glory. He has opened some awesome doors for editing with Calvary Chapel’s website, writing for Calvary Chapel magazine, editorial writing for various Christian blogs, being part of a team starting up a creative arts ministry and blog for our church, among many other things I’ve been blessed to do and add to my writing resume. I still to this day would give up blogging, being an 'artist,' any of my creative habits or projects, in a heartbeat if He asked me to. One of my favorite quotes I heard from Jesse Bryan, one of the previous art directors of Mars Hill Church, and it totally sums up how I feel about my creative call. He said, “Being an artist is NOT a higher calling than being a Christian.” To be honest, its harder for me to be creative than to not be creative since I would rather deny that God made me this way than accept it and integrate it into my life. It is so much harder to work out being the creative person I'm learning God really has made me to be in order to relate to Him and His world in a better way. It would be easier for me to go through this life ignoring any creative impulse, than acting on it, because acting on creativity turns into a job. It’s a hard thing to learn how to worship the Creator and not my creations. But God’s grace is always sufficient.

That being the case, my creative habits and life often get put on the back burner because Jesus, my ministry at home, church family, grocery shopping, next month’s school crafts, and everything else you could think of comes first.This being my first full year graduated and out of college, I’ve really had to learn to stay creatively motivated without professors, grades, and workshop friends keeping me accountable. Now I’m the one facilitating workshops, encouraging others to write and stay creative, only just managing to learn how to do so myself.

So, what do you do when you’re creative juices are completely shut down do to the looming to-do list: blog posts for The Incarnate, meet with Jesus, grow a baby in my womb, lesson plans for work, lessons plans for our first creative workshops of the semester, grow a baby in my womb,  networking to organize open mics, meet with Jesus, make dinner, meet with Jesus, meeting and exhorting brothers and sisters, grow a baby in my womb, accomplish any writing jobs I’m being paid to do, meet with Jesus, clean the bathroom…all these beings things I LOVE and WANT to do.

God has called me to be prudent and use the gifts and talents He’s given me in order to be a good steward of them. So what do I do?

Make a plan. I need to get a calendar. Make a schedule. There are so many tiny, yet necessary things that need to get done for creative writing, networking for a ministry, running part of a site, and continuing on with normal life. Simply remembering to upload a new blog post is something that needs to go on the to-do list this week. This whole process of staying organized with your creative life is a topic I am just starting to dig in to, so I’m sure you guys will hear much, much more about it in the future.  Or there any creative calendars that have worked for you guys? If so, what are they? Any other thoughts or suggestions are much appreciated!!"

 

Now that that's all out there in the open, I hope some of you stayed with me through this long post! ;) My tummy is officially growling at 5:20, so it's time to go start the coffee! :)

 

xoxo

Laugh with me.

So, I did the first assignment for Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. I know these are quite terrible, but the author encourages you to keep a portfolio to watch as you gain some skill in sketching.

This is my makeshift sketch pad. I didn't even have any number two pencils laying around when I went to start this yesterday! So I had to borrow some from a friend this morning! Ha! Today's assignments were to do a self-portrait, a sketch of someone from memory, and a sketch of your hand. Once I sat down in front of that mirror I just couldn't bring myself to start. All of the sudden the blinds looked so dirty and I felt like I had to get up and clean them, and I needed to throw in another load of laundry, maybe get water boiling for dinner....ANYTHING but sit and try and sketch this silly thing. So I'm sitting there just looking at myself and laughing at the mirrior, thinking, "There is no way I can take myself serious enough to actually do a self-portrait." But alas, I started and giggled through basically the whole thing. And that's when I realized that most of creativity is about having fun anyways, so I decided to enjoy myself and the goofy ape-like picture I was drawing. Feel free to laugh along with me as you look at these. Don't worry. It won't hurt my feelings. ;)

 

 

And if you can't read it in the picture, I titled this first one...

 

 



"1st terrible self-portrait".

This looks nothing like my Gramma. All I kept thinking while drawing these first two was, "We look like apes! We look like apes!"

This last one was the only slighty decent one.

Anyways, I hope you guys got a few laughs out of those like I did. I found myself being very shy with the pencil, wanting to only use very light strokes. I guess I thought that makes it look better despite a complete lack of skill on my part. I'll have to keep you updated on the drawing I can fit in to my somewhat spare time.

I'm super excited to make this for dinner, then B and I are going to bundle up and head to Grounds for Coffee for a poetry and music night. Sipping on a warm chai sounds yummy for this pregnant momma. I was skyping my mom the other day and realized I'm getting a little chubby pregnant face. Ohhhh the joys of giving birth to children. haha And I'm only just starting to learn. ;) Hope ya'll have a fun weekend!

Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.

The air quality seems to be particularly terrible this week. From reading around the internet I've gathered that the inversion is now considered a state of emergency and pregnant ladies should not go outside. So, after my field trip and grocery shopping today, I will be staying inside. B usually has long meetings Thursday nights, so I like to keep myself busy. While I have plenty of work to get caught up on, I also have a few books I picked up at the library yesterday that I want to dig in to.

I often complain about wishing a could at least have a tiny talent for sketching. Words are one thing, but I've always been a bit stupified when it comes to articulating visual images on paper. One of the gals in my creative workshop told me about this book, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. Since the workshop is starting up again soon I figured I'd better expand my horizons of creative dabblings. I picked it up yesterday and I'm going to give it a shot.

 

 

I'm supposed to keep a folder with all my attempts to complete the exercises from the book. If I get the courage, and this actually works, I'll have to share my new found talent with you guys. ;) I'm hoping this works so I can incorporate it into the workshop somehow, since I like it to include all forms of art.

 

 

Wish me luck! ;)