A command.

"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10

If you're like me (which you are), then you're work oriented. You tend to either view this verse as a command that must be followed, or you view it as an excuse to make guilt free quiet time while the dishes and laundry pile up. Tonight B is out, and it's just me and Ari at home, so I took some quiet time to reflect, read, and write. This is an excerpt taken from my notebook:

"I feel like I finally started paying attention more when I became a mom. I don't even want to take my eyes off the yellow-white light flickering through the papery tree leaves long enough to write this.

I guess I want to redeem every fleeting second I have with Ari. I want to remember every facial expression, memorize each movement of his eye brows, each new sound he delights in making. I feel like I want to immortalize each moment I spend with him.

I remember reading some trascendentalist in college who talked about seeing the world the way Adam did, everything captivating and so new for the very first time. I watch Ari look at the world that way amd it fills me with longing. It's almost like he sees the shards of perfection left in the world from the Fall. He's still amazed by the aspen's leaves in our yard each time we come out here. For two years now I've acted like this thing doesn't even exist anymore. That's how little I pay attention to it.

Seeing the way my little boy is exploring the world for the very first time gives me a desire to look at it with renewed eyes. Ari sees the genius of the Creator of the different textures of leaves, the very Creator who I seem to have forgotten about."

"It is my own believe (and here I shall not feel bad if no one follows me) that every good and beautiful thing which man has produced in the world has been the result of his faulty and sin-blocked response to the creative Voice sounding over the earth. The moral philosophers who dreamed their high dreams of virtue, the religious thinkers who speculated about God and immortality, the poets and artists who created out of common stuff pure and lasting beauty: How can we explain them? It is not enough to say simply, 'It was genius.'

What then is genius? Could it be that a genius is a man haunted by the speaking Voice, laboring and striving like one possessed to achieve ends which he only vaguely understands? "

-A.W. Tozer in 'The Pursuit of God' (pgs 74-5)

 It's a heavenly perspective that gives us a greater appreciation for any creation or art.

Maybe Ari is still young enough, "sheltered" enough, or set apart from the world in such a way that he's being allowed time to cultivate this heavenly perspective. I don't know what it is, but almost every single time I pluck up any energy to pursue creative writing and cultivating inspiration for creating I get sucked into this thought that it's all vanity. That immediately kills any creative juices I got flowing.

After a quick conversation with a fellow artist this evening, I was reminded that it's actually selfish to not put time and effort into cultivating creativity so I have something to share with others. I totally view writing, music, art, and any other medium as creative gifts given straight from God. If that's the case, then it's my job to cultivate that gift in such a way that builds others up. I'd really be bummed today if I didn't have all the books C.S. Lewis wrote on my shelves because he put down the pen after hearing, "It's all vanity!" whispered in his ear. I know of a few people off the top of my head that wouldn't be Christians if he had never picked up a pen! How crazy is that!? It's heavy, actually. It means my words can actually make an impact for the Kingdom. Heavy stuff.

And with those thoughts, I post this piece in faith that God is using this blog to speak to someone tonight.

xoxo

P.S. I find it helpful to find out what another writer or artist has been reading, watching, eating, listening to, etc to be creatively filled up, so I think I'll start sharing that with you guys. Tonight I was thumbing through an old favorite on art and faith, Walking on Water, as well as The Pursuit of God, which I can honestly say is one of the most challenging books I have ever read. And I read lots of books.

On the menu for this evening: whole wheat crackers, provolone cheese, and homemade nutter butters. Happy snacking and writing! ;)


  

Our little boy's ecclectic nature nursery.

I'm not sure if that's even what you would call it, but here are a few snapshots of our little boy's room. I think I've mentioned it before, but he is sharing space with his daddy. :) I wasn't too happy about it at first, but I tried really, really, really, really hard not to fight about it. Then one day while I was praying about it, God showed me how thankful I should be that my husband is willing to share the same room (office/nursery) with our son, when most kids in America go to bed at night without a dad around. That totally changed my perspective, and I'm super excited for my boys to have a hang out spot. ;) haha

Those are the prints I blogged about here. I bought the postcard size of them and found some inexpensive wooden frames from Hobby Lobby. You can also see one of the knit mushrooms my very creative friend Amy made for me, by request. She rocks! She is a great, great cook (so check out her blog) and she knit the cutest sweater vest for out little one, and got us some awesome vintage books!! I love used books and handmade things. :) To the left is a jar of eggs. haha It's very random, but I decided to add it anyways. For some reason I bought a glass egg on our honeymoon, and then somewhere else after that, and I just buy them wherever I can find them now. I told my gramma about them once and she had a few that (I believe?) her  mom had collected, so she brought them to me on one of her trips out here. So now I have a jar of eggs that people in my family have been collecting for a few generations. I thought it fit the nature theme. What do you think? ;) haha

I collect framed butterflies, which I've talked about before. This was my first collection one of my uncle's bought me from a flea market. After that, I was in love with the vintage ones, but they are VERY expensive. B got me another set when he went to Cambodia. My parents brought those with them on their last trip down, so I will hang them soon as well. I really want to get some other framed bugs, as weird as that sounds. Maybe some bumble bees or beetles. I have a few other small collections around the house. They are so colorful! I also made the garland out of old fabric scraps I had laying around. A friend of mine mentioned that they look like butterflies. I hadn't noticed, but they totally do look like fluttery wings. :) It adds to the nature theme, I guess.

I love these woodland animals! My boss just gave us the deer yesterday, and I wanted to keep it for myself to cuddle with. ;)

One of the gals in my creative workshop does calligraphy art. I so wish I could write that beautifully! I found a poetry book on motherhood at a thrift store a few months after I got pregnant. This is one of my favorite poems I found in it. I thought the title was so adorable too!! So, she wrote it up! How gorgeous is it!? I haven't framed it yet, but I intend to. I will eventually hang it in there as well. This is the actual poem, since you can't read it from the picture:

To a Little Invisible Being Who is Expected Soon To Become Visible

by Anna Laetitia Barbauld

Germ of new life, whose powers expanding slow

For many a moon their full perfection wait,—

Haste, precious pledge of happy love, to go

Auspicious borne through life's mysterious gate.

What powers lie folded in thy curious frame,—

Senses from objects locked, and mind from thought!

How little canst thou guess thy lofty claim

To grasp at all the worlds the Almighty wrought!

And see, the genial season's warmth to share,

Fresh younglings shoot, and opening roses glow!

Swarms of new life exulting fill the air,—

Haste, infant bud of being, haste to blow!

For thee the nurse prepares her lulling songs,

The eager matrons count the lingering day;

But far the most thy anxious parent longs

On thy soft cheek a mother's kiss to lay.

She only asks to lay her burden down,

That her glad arms that burden may resume;

And nature's sharpest pangs her wishes crown,

That free thee living from thy living tomb.

She longs to fold to her maternal breast

Part of herself, yet to herself unknown;

To see and to salute the stranger guest,

Fed with her life through many a tedious moon.

Come, reap thy rich inheritance of love!

Bask in the fondness of a Mother's eye!

Nor wit nor eloquence her heart shall move

Like the first accents of thy feeble cry.

Haste, little captive, burst thy prison doors!

Launch on the living world, and spring to light!

Nature for thee displays her various stores,

Opens her thousand inlets of delight.

If charmed verse or muttered prayers had power,

With favouring spells to speed thee on thy way,

Anxious I'd bid my beads each passing hour,

Till thy wished smile thy mother's pangs o'erpay.

I randomly pulled stuff from around the house that I thought fit the theme and just added it to these shelves. I really have a thing for eggs and butterflies, I guess. The butterfly in that blown glass was a housewarming gift from my brother in law. haha I got those little wooden boxes for $3 from Target. I've been collecting those books since I was in high school. And I didn't think a nature room was complete without a real, living plant. :) I've been quite pleased with it! It's a pathos house plant. They are supposed to be very easy to take care of, as far as indoor plants go. I love the bright shade of green it adds. I somehow ended up with dark aqua and lime green being some of the main colors in this room. :)

Hope you enjoyed the mini nursery tour! I kept it very minimal, but I really love it. :)

xoxo

Quiet times.

B finished up this semester a few days ago. He's taking a break for a while with baby coming soon. I'm done with most stuff at work, and I have only one more stop to make at Babies R Us this afternoon then I'm DONE with all my running around related to baby. I think this is the real nesting setting in. The sitting at home, enjoying an always-messy-but-lived-in look this place has going on with all the adjustments to baby things: high chair, children's books, monitors glowing from the corner of the room. This is crazy, guys. :) But I feel a sense of quiet and peace after these last few crazy weeks. I'm really, really trying to be patient and wait on God's timing for this kid to be born. Only three weeks left to go. Keep praying for health and safety for us! God's taught me to let go of soooo many things during this pregnancy: an abundance of riches and a birth plan only include a few of them. haha

All that to be said, we were able to get out and enjoy the beautiful, golden Utah air up in the canyon Sunday night. We got out and went on a little hike (that I had to convince B to let me go on). It's my favorite hike around, 36 weeks pregnant or not pregnant, because it really is the easiest, and in my opinion, the prettiest. Wheeler Canyon opens up to a pretty field. Oh, I just love it!

Our friend Greg brought along his new camera and snapped some adorable pics. haha (Thanks for blessing us with your creativity!) All the guys that went with us were very patient with me as I slowly hopped down rocky hills and hobbled through part of the stream. It was so much fun!

I told them a secret...I couldn't remember when the last time I had washed my hair was. ;) But you can't tell....................riiiight? haha

The guys were snapping pictures of everything. The air truly was golden as we hiked higher up and looked back down. I love that natural gold color. Even when we got home last night from our (maybe last) dessert date before baby comes, our house was filled with that same golden hue as the sun was going down. I just love it! So much that I wrote a poem about it once....here it is:

this iridescent hour 

gold light filters through white, wooden blinds

a mist of stars

 hanging in the air

this is the light housewives have worked by

for many, many centuries

and i am home, sick

partaking in this iridescent hour

 

-feb. 22, 2012

(Side note: It's scary to share poetry, no matter what context it's in. ;) Thanks for reading and letting me do it a little more often.)

I think it was B who made this comment as we kept hiking and everyone was taking pictures.

"God really must love photographers..."

That really made me stop and think. It's true! He must love them! He must love the absolute joy they take in HIS creations, snapping picture after picture, making God feel proud and desrving of the glory He gets in those moments. I've been thinking about that all week. I sometimes overlook how art really can relate to my Christian walk, and abandon my pen and any other artform I practice in the midst of the busyness of life. Maybe sometimes I just need to get out and hike with my camera as an act of worship to God, thanking Him for creating that unique, golden hue that can only be found in nature.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy some of the sights we got to see.

xoxo

P.S. Did anyone hear the news that we have a baby due THIS month?? Whaaa whaaat? Crazy sauce! :D