40 weeks.

Yep. My due date is here. And in 7 hours...it will have passed. haha Guess baby is pretty comfortable in there. :) I'm honestly feeling great considering the well-done baby I'm carrying around. I'm really taking this time to enjoy all the grace and love I feel God's poured out on me (or us) this week through the end of my first year teaching, love from all my students, fellowship with many friends, yummy food and desserts that I (probably) over indulged in, and lots of time in my nest. :)

Much of my down time has consisted of walking the last few days, since I'm officially a stay at home helper until this babe comes. :) I have truly enjoyed this last week of pregnancy so much.

Last weekend we went down to Salt Lake City with Greg and played with photography around the city. This one was taken at the Salt Lake City Public Library. It was rainy, cold, and the only thing I could fit in to was a maternity sweater dress. haha So it was that and my rainboots. Which, by the way, wearing rainboots as a pregnant lady is kind of like trying to hop over a fence! It's hard work climbing in to those things!!

My best friend from back in our homeschool days, Amy, has been in town with her husband for the last few days, and since I've had off, I've been able to see her quite a bit. :) She's also pregnant, 23 weeks, and I got to go to her in town baby shower for her little girl last night. It was so fun to see all the frilly girly things!! (I guess maybe there iiiisss another reason to keep having babies despite all the pain. haha)

But despite of lack of pink and purple feminine lace, these bow ties and onesies are pretty adorable! ;)(Thanks, Amy!) I know daddy is excited about these spiffy outfits for his little man. :)

So aside from friends, eating all sorts of yummy food, and lots of walking, I'm just enjoying my transition from being in the world of working peeps, to being blessed to be able to come home and take care of my family full time.

I know I say this a lot, but I am so, so thankful for my husband. It hit me Monday night as I was getting ready for my last day of work, that after Tuesday, my job description and responsibilities are really changing. My husband feels strongly enough that I should be home that he has taken this step of faith in actually bringing me home, losing part of our monthly income and totally trusting God to provide, to take care of him and our little flock. Wow!! That motivates me to want to be an extra good steward of my time at home, the money God blesses us with through B's work, and my family in general. I am so thankful for B, and the God I see working in him as a husband and father. I really can't think of a better job than being a full-time helper to my husband and shepherd to my child. I am so excited for this next chapter of our life and all the on the job training God has in store for me. :)

Now all we need is that little bambino to cuddle! ;) Keep us in your prayers over the next few days!

xoxo

Over a week, and here's why...

I can't breathe. Ok, really, I can obviously breathe since I'm alive and blogging, but I have to concentrate really hard to simply SIT and BREATHE most days. Baby is NOT hanging low anymore. He's climbed up my rib cage and is squishing my lungs. Anyways, this leaves me quite exhausted. Want to pray for me? I could really use some extra energy to get through my work days. I'm supposed to be (and hopefully will be) working up until  my due date, but seriously....who would have thought bending over multiple times a day to clean up all the toys in a classroom could knock someone out for the week. That's how I've been feeling. It makes me physically tired, but its also been making my tummy upset. Maybe because everything is being squished together so I can grab one toy here, another toy there. haha I haven't had energy for much else besides focusing on work and home. So no blogging for the last week.

Anyways, besides that...I drove past Wendy's and Burger King today, all before 11 a.m. and all I could think about were the chocolate frostys they have!! So I had to rush home and make myself a healthier version that I'm quite pleased with. :)

1 banana (not frozen, but I usually use frozen)
a squirt of agave
1 tablespoon coacoa powder
about half a tray of ice cubes (depends on how thick you like yours)
almond milk
leftover coffee from this morning
three strawberries

It's so yummy!! And not too bad for you, and I took care of that sweet craving while filling up my tummy with good fruits. :) When I worked at Starbucks I LOVED making smoothies for my meals with all sorts of weird things in them: I always had spinach in mine, Greek yogurt, almonds, chia seeds, wheat germ, whatever fruits I had on hand, one packet of honey, some dark chocolate chips...I promise, promise, promise you don't taste the spinach. Yes, it looks weird and gross, but they're really sooooo good for you, and quite filling too. Enough about my random smoothies.

I'm at 29 weeks tomorrow. I have some time this afternoon, so I'm going to pack our hospital bag. Advice? What things were you glad you had on hand? What was useless? Some things I've been reading from around the web say its nice to have little gifts for the nurses, as well as mints or something to suck on during labor (since you can't eat...still not sure how I feel about that?), ohh...I can't remember what else. It's still a bit early to think we need to head to the hospital, but you never know I guess. I was planning on doing this last week while B was out of town, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It just seemed way too real that this is all happening. I can't even describe it now that I'm thinking about it. haha

While continuing to think and pray about what God wants this baby's birth to look like, I found this blog post to be very helpful. A friend shared it with me and it's seriously one of the most encouraging things I've read yet. In thinking about diets, natural birth, birth orders, epidurals, essential oils, being vegan, Hypnobirthing, blah, blah, blah....the list could go on, God's continued to put a passage from 1 Timothy on my heart.

"As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge any persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussions..." 1 Timothy 1:3-6

God really showed me a few weeks back that I was wandering into vain discussions with myself on learning and reading about natural birth. All of the things I listed above really are just myths, things we can never, ever truly be certain about. I will never know for sure if an essential oil can cure my cold. I will never know for sure if I will make it all natural this time. I will never know for sure if an epidural would be perfectly fine for me and my baby. I will never know if I will live longer of this diet or that diet. Only if it's God's will would any of these things happen. I was, and continue, to get caught up in things like these, placing my faith in these things instead of in Christ. Trusting in those other things instead of Him was and is sin (Romans 14:23). His Word is one of the only absolutes I can stand on in faith, and I knew all of my anxiety was coming from trusting in these things I was never meant to trust in. There's been quite a release since He gently showed me that. I've also come to the conclusion that I'm honestly not going to make a decision and stick to it when it comes to this whole giving birth thing because the only person who knows how its going to turn out already has the whole thing planned out for me, and I want to rest in His plan.

Well, off I go to back our hospital bag! :)

xoxo

A mind awake & thoughts on creativity as a job.

Yes, I'm typing this before it's even 5 a.m. I'm not one of those people who is only artistic after the sun goes down, as well as everyone else in the house. I'm just the opposite. My heart and brain seem to be the most optimistic BEFORE the sun comes up (these long, dark wintery days at least). So I was laying in bed this morning around 3:30 a.m. with thoughts like these...

"Oh, I could go get that bookshelf packed up to finish up the little one's room. I could also probably get a few good hours of reading those three different books in: I'd like to know more about essential oils in pregnancy...or I could always get in an extra early morning workout. Hmmm...what about coffee? It's kind of early to eat. I'd just have to have a second breakfast. What's that, baby? Second breakfast is ok with you? Dad's already at work? You're right. I should get up and do some creative work too!!" :)

And that's how it happened. As it usually does. And here I am on the couch, in a flannel quilt, curled up with my laptop writing this. As far back as I can remember, I've pretty much always been a morning person. B and I are also pretty big homebodies, which I am very thankful for. I'm thankful my husband likes and prefers being in our home, with me. So by seven thirty most nights we're usually curled up together catching up on a favorite T.V. show, reading, or (like last night) already asleep. haha I know being pregnant and tired all the time just adds to my lack of ability to stay up past 9 p.m.

But really. This is when I'm most creative. Usually 4 a.m. until noon. And then, sadly, my energy quickly starts to drop and there's just nothing I can do about this. As long as I get up and just write, read, work, organize, whatever for those 8 hours before the afternoon, I don't feel so bad about only having energy to do some laundry and cooking in the afternoon. It would be worse if I just stayed in bed until 8 or so like a normal person, because I still wouldn't have energy in the afternoon. My body just hasn't worked that way for some time now...I think my early mornings working at Starbucks messed that up. haha

I can get a whole set of poems, catch up on journal entries, write a blog, read my Bible and work on my prayer journal, get caught up on my own for fun reading, and plan dinner all before everyone else in the world wakes up. Yes, I'm one of those annoyingly happy people in the morning that B graciously has learned to deal with and usually just laugh at if her rolls over to find me wide eyed and starring at him at 7:30. But the funny thing is that because of my high energy levels in the mornings, and the early afternoon gloom that sets in, I really like to stick to my morning routine and work, so I HATE being out of the house before 10 a.m. most days. I just know I'm losing work time. haha How weird is that?

Anyways, on to other creative thoughts. Picture a whale spouting out all that water as you read this next part. It was something I was thinking about for a while the other day, and it all just kind of came out in one big breath like a whale's watery exhales. (Is that what they're even doing when that happens?) And this is still along the lines of creativity and work, so that's why I'm including it here.

"Being creative is a JOB.

A creative writer or artist is always on the clock. 

One place you can’t take commonplaces is in the shower. And unfortunately that’s where all the creative brainstorming took place today since it’s the only down time I seem to have this week. So here I am, trying to write this before my hair is even dry so I don’t forget everything I’m thinking.

Being creative really is a job. Or at least it feels that way this week. I have multiple things lined up to do each day this week, on top of a regular job, staying homeward focused, being a wifey, and staying “'reative.' I would tell you each and every thing I have on my to-do list just to make my point, but I’m trying to grumble. I truly enjoy being busy (aside from the sleepless zombie-fog I’ve been in the last few weeks). The point is simply that I’m realizing what  ajob staying and being creative is in and of itself.

I get paid to teach three year olds about Jesus, their letters, numbers, and doing arts and crafts. This job is a blessing, and I do it two days a week, on the clock from 7:30-3:30. I’m also picking up a job writing a grant for a new charter school (one of the many things on my to do list this week). Those are the things God has chosen to put in my life to help supply part of our needs at this time.

My list of unpaid jobs, ones that I think are just as meaningful and make just as much of an impact as teaching kids about Jesus can, is even longer. When I picked the Creative Writing program for my bachelor’s I KNEW I wasn’t picking it for the money. Ha! Are you kidding me? I’ve FINALLY landed my first PAID writing job where I get to do what I want to do (aside from the newspaper I worked for) and I haven’t even been able to write anything yet because the people I’m writing about are always in and out of town or country. Needless to say, I’m not in this creative business for the money. I’ve spent a lot of time asking God to use this degree and the gifts He’s given me for His glory. He has opened some awesome doors for editing with Calvary Chapel’s website, writing for Calvary Chapel magazine, editorial writing for various Christian blogs, being part of a team starting up a creative arts ministry and blog for our church, among many other things I’ve been blessed to do and add to my writing resume. I still to this day would give up blogging, being an 'artist,' any of my creative habits or projects, in a heartbeat if He asked me to. One of my favorite quotes I heard from Jesse Bryan, one of the previous art directors of Mars Hill Church, and it totally sums up how I feel about my creative call. He said, “Being an artist is NOT a higher calling than being a Christian.” To be honest, its harder for me to be creative than to not be creative since I would rather deny that God made me this way than accept it and integrate it into my life. It is so much harder to work out being the creative person I'm learning God really has made me to be in order to relate to Him and His world in a better way. It would be easier for me to go through this life ignoring any creative impulse, than acting on it, because acting on creativity turns into a job. It’s a hard thing to learn how to worship the Creator and not my creations. But God’s grace is always sufficient.

That being the case, my creative habits and life often get put on the back burner because Jesus, my ministry at home, church family, grocery shopping, next month’s school crafts, and everything else you could think of comes first.This being my first full year graduated and out of college, I’ve really had to learn to stay creatively motivated without professors, grades, and workshop friends keeping me accountable. Now I’m the one facilitating workshops, encouraging others to write and stay creative, only just managing to learn how to do so myself.

So, what do you do when you’re creative juices are completely shut down do to the looming to-do list: blog posts for The Incarnate, meet with Jesus, grow a baby in my womb, lesson plans for work, lessons plans for our first creative workshops of the semester, grow a baby in my womb,  networking to organize open mics, meet with Jesus, make dinner, meet with Jesus, meeting and exhorting brothers and sisters, grow a baby in my womb, accomplish any writing jobs I’m being paid to do, meet with Jesus, clean the bathroom…all these beings things I LOVE and WANT to do.

God has called me to be prudent and use the gifts and talents He’s given me in order to be a good steward of them. So what do I do?

Make a plan. I need to get a calendar. Make a schedule. There are so many tiny, yet necessary things that need to get done for creative writing, networking for a ministry, running part of a site, and continuing on with normal life. Simply remembering to upload a new blog post is something that needs to go on the to-do list this week. This whole process of staying organized with your creative life is a topic I am just starting to dig in to, so I’m sure you guys will hear much, much more about it in the future.  Or there any creative calendars that have worked for you guys? If so, what are they? Any other thoughts or suggestions are much appreciated!!"

 

Now that that's all out there in the open, I hope some of you stayed with me through this long post! ;) My tummy is officially growling at 5:20, so it's time to go start the coffee! :)

 

xoxo