Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

I've held on to this verse over the last few years as God has taken me in several different directions with my love of writing. Since I was first learning to write in kindergarten I truly, truly loved the art. I still communicate much better through pen and paper than I do verbally.

My senior year in college I really explored what it looked like to be an artist in the realm of writing, but being a Christian first. I think so many artists identify with their artistic side before identifying with Christ, and I honestly didn't want to do that. As weird as it may sound to some, writing (or art in general) can totally be an idol. It also puts you in a vulnerable spot when you share essays, poems, and thoughts about what God's teaching you. It's a love hate relationship, as anything worth pursuing is. So, when I decided to blog, I really wanted God to do His work through words He gives me. And I've been encouraged to hear some of you over the last year or so talk about how this blog has changed you in some way, usually, hopefully, prayerfully, for good. This blog is meeting God's purposes and plans if it's making my readers more like Him in some way.

With all that to be said, God shows me over and over again that if I continue to delight myself in Him, HE - the Holy Spirit - inspires more words, more creativity, more ideas. God is my muse. His Word fuels my ideas. If anyone would ask me these last few years what my dream job would be, I would say something like, "Being a stay at home mom and getting to write about what God shows me in my life and family."

And guess what? As I've really tried to pursue God's purposes for how writing should fit into my life, and not shying away from using the gifts He's given me, He's dropping the coolest opportunity right in my lap!

Dianne Jago is a blogging friend I've gotten to know over the last year. We were both pregnant at the same time and I know God used both of our blogs in each other's life to encourage and teach one another. As much as I act like I despise technology at times, her blog is one reason I KNOW God uses modern technology to teach others, and one reason I see hope in continuing on with my own blog.

So, this opportunity I'm talking about? I'm getting there. haha

A few weeks ago I got a message from Dianne asking if I'd like to contribute to her new project, Deeply Rooted Magazine. As I read her thoughts and descriptions of what she was feeling God call her to do with this publication, I was bursting with excitement! Seriously, ask B. I don't think I've stopped talking about it since then. ;) haha I was up all night thinking about how cool it is that God allowed me to meet this friend through the internet, form this encouraging relationship, and then get to create art in a way that glorifies HIM through it! It truly is a desire of mine to encourage other women, moms, and wives through God's divine words and what He's taught me, in a vibrant and creative way. And now I get to!

Check out the above link to get more info on the publication. Please be in prayer for us as we work on this project. Pray that God would be shown in each article. Pray that the group of artists working on this publication are about HIS glory, and not our own. Also, pray that God would bring another great, Christian photographer to Utah to work with me, since Gregory Woodman is peacing out pretty soon. :( haha

Again, I am just so thankful that we have a creative God who WANTS us to create out of worship of Him!! So fun!! I hope this encourages some of you to delight in Him through whatever means of creativity He has gifted you with. :)

xoxo

Where have I been?

I've caught a cold most recently. Usually when you catch a cold that means you spend some time laying low. Drinking tea, not leaving the couch, making soups of various kinds...we all have fallen bodies, so everyone knows what this looks like.

On a more spiritual level, I feel like I'm caught a cold. Or maybe my eyes have just finally been opened to the disease, the sin, the sickness I've still got to deal with inside of my heart, and the grace God gives to cure and soothe.

So where have I been? Literally, spiritually, and emotionally?

Laying low. Spending lots of time talking to God. Listening to (and I won't lie, often arguing with) God. Reading the Word. Lots of time at home relearning and learning for the first time about lots of things. Grace. Being a mom. Still being a wife. Being human. Being broken, but made new.

Photo of me taken by my talented husband. :) I thought it was appropriate given the topic. ;)

With all this reflecting in my life comes a very relevant question to think about when you write publically.

How much is too much? What's okay to share for the sake of encouraging others? (which I hope you know is the goal of this blog, to push you towards holiness and Jesus) And what is just too much? How much honesty really is just gossip and breaks trust in relationships? What are the secret things God shows just me? Just my husband and me? Just my family?

These are all things I've been thinking about and trying to sort out, so be patient with me as I go. :)

I remember pondering this question about honesty in a memoir writing class I took in college. I've since seen other bloggers happen upon the same struggle. And here I am. Silent out of fear? Or respect? I'm still not sure. Yet again, like every single day these days, I find myself falling short of being able to find the answer to this question, among many others. I find my words falling short as I realize how little answers I actually have to things. But God's got something in the works. :) Like He always does.

I think He's providing an outlet for me to share with gentle honesty many of these things in an even more public way. A fellow blogger friend of mine, Dianne, has asked me to be a part of a collaborative team for a project she feels like God has been calling her to create. I don't want to give too many details just yet, but I'm excited that God is opening up yet another outlet for me to write and share the things He's teaching me.

Sigh.

With all of this to be say, pray for me as I'm in a deeeeep, but gooood season of reflecting. :)

xoxo

My reason to write.

God told me to stop all the organizing for our garage sale and instead sit down with my laptop and write. Why? Because of this verse I've been pondering all week.

 

 

"'Go...tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.'" Mark 5:19

 

I keep this in my commonplace to remind myself of why I keep notes, why I journal, why I write down most of my prayers. There are several verses where God charges His people to tell the next generation about His faithfulness to them. I guess that's what I'm doing with all my journals. But today I just want to share how God's been faithful to me in my prayers for my husband and marriage.

 

 

A few months before I got married I bought a prayer journal. This has been the single most important tool in my life and marriage, next to the Bible. Every day of the month it gives you something different to pray for your husband, children, and yourself. The morning is my favorite time of the day, as I'm sure most of you know. I loooove getting up extra early before everyone else to sip on some coffee, read my Bible, and journal in the quiet. I covet this quiet time. I'm a creature of habit, and I believe God at His word when He says He shows Himself to those who seek Him. As a new mom, I've really been having to fight against my flesh and get up extra early before Ari to do this. But God has been faithful to me. And that's more of what I want to write about today.

 

 

Wives, do you realize how important prayer is to your marriage? Do you BELIEVE it is the weapon of choice God has given you in the battleground that our families and relationships sometimes turn into?

 

"...as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." 1 Peter 3:6

 

This verse has often used comforted me in my marriage. The context of this verse is dealing with submission in marriage. Submission is scary. God never says it's easy. That's why the Holy Spirit is saying "do not fear anything that is frightening" right here.  Pastor Jeremy taught on this the week before we were married, and it has always stuck with me. Submission can be frightening when you watch your spouse screw up, lie, confess a sin they struggle with over, and over again, are not good stewards of different aspects of their life, and yet ask you to to come alongside the decisions and leadings they feel is appropriate for your lives and family. Submitting to another sinner really is one of the most terrifying things you can do, and it's something I've not always (if ever have) been good at doing.

 

So, what do we use in battle against our fears as a wife?

 

Prayer.

 

Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray! Pray! I really can't stress this enough.

 

I have a note at the bottom of one of the pages in my prayer journal that says something along the lines of, "I need to stop nagging, start praying, and let the Holy Spirit do the nagging."

 

Wives, don't stop praying for that specific area of weakness that you see and nobody else does in your husband's life. Go to God in your moments of fear and keep on praying. Pray for his mind, body, and heart. Pray the reflection of Jesus into his life. Pray, pray, pray until you see the future glory of your husband (which you won't ever see on this side of heaven, so...pray some more). Pray for the Holy Spirit to empower him to be more like Christ in every single area of his life. Pray that you keep your mouth shut and entrust your husband to the Lord.

 

I know how hard this is. I've been so fearful lately in some specific areas of our marriage. I know I've failed to pray about it as much as I should, but God's given me a taste of the sweet fruit of my feeble prayers these last few days. And what reaction has it caused in my heart?

 

I rejoice at wanting to submit to a husband that God I see God working in! I find the future, Christ-likeness the Holy Spirit is cultivating in my husband as the most attractive thing about him, and it makes me want to be more conformed into the image of Christ too!

 

(Here's a little secret for husbands: admiting your need for a Savior verbally to your wife, in private, often, and as a normal part of your relationships is one of the most attractive things you can do. Why? Because it shows humility, and we desire to follow a humble leader we see the evidence of Christ in. You don't have to act like you have it all together and don't need someone to lead you. We know that's not true. If it were, there probably wouldn't be as many dirty dishes and laundry left around my house. There wouldn't be the silence and fear a wife feels after her husband makes a final decision.)

 

So ladies, where's your hope? Is it in your nagging voice that makes your husband want to campout on the roof (Proverbs 21:9)? Or is it in Jesus Christ, who's voice commands even the wind and waves (Luke 8:24)? Call on our Helper, the Holy Spirit, to help make you a better helper for your husband, the helper God is calling you to be, always giving your husband strength through your prayers. This is the best gift a wife can ever give to her husband. Ask God to renew your mind to believe this truth. 

 

xoxo

 

 

 



Life from my view these days. :)

Ari definately doesn't have his days and nights switched anymore, praise Jesus! But this means he's up a lot more during the day...during laundry time, mommy's nap time, shower time, and today it's been around the time I try to get dinner together. This is the first day we haven't had somebody bring us a meal and I was ready to get back to cooking! I missed it! Anyways, Ari suddenly decided that he'd spend his 45 minute awake time screaming. Haaaaa! I knew that was going to make for an extra loooong naptime.

It truly is amazing to me how the love you have for your kids as a parent covers all the crazy annoying things they do...like scream in your face for half an hour as you desperately attempt to dig into the mountain of dirty dishes, boil some water for quinoa, clean the bottles....

But after a few minutes of singing Jesus Loves You and cuddling him close to me in the baby carrier, he was out. :) Until his head hit the crib, of course. haha And that's where he is loudly waiting out naptime until the next time he eats. (And don't you worry...mommy is checking on him and kissing him lots in between frantic wails. haha) Poor little guy. At least I can almost guarantee quite a bit of sleep for the both of us tonight.

On a bit of a heavier note, please keep my parents and brother in your prayers. They live in Colorado Springs and are most likely going to be evacuated any minute due to the wildfires. They are coming in to town this weekend, but pray for protection, safety, wisdom on what to take and how to prepare for evacuation, as well as strength to walk through this crazy time in a Christ-like way.

I had this verse on my mind earlier today and was wondering why. When my mom called me pretty upset (she said buildings were catching fire and blowing up around them) I knew why, so I shared it with her.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."

Isaiah 43:2

Pray for all of Colorado Springs and the churches in the area that are reaching out to shelter and minister to families. Jesus really is our everything.

xoxo

Longings.

There has been so much going on in my life and the lives of those around me lately that I can't help but long for heaven a little more and watch others do the same.

 

 

My super sweet Secret Sister got this book for me last Sunday. I've felt blessed (spoiled) all week. I had almost an entire day to myself to hang out at a coffee shop and drink chais on one of the coldest days this week, some awesome prayer time with a good, good friend, jumping in to this book, and then my very first massage! Anyways, I've been meditating on a prayer from this book all week. God is so good and I've seen Him very present in my every day this week.

 

 

Longings after God

My dear Lord, I can but tell Thee that Thou knowest I long for nothing but Thyself, nothing but holiness, nothing but union with Thy will. Thou hast given me these desires, and thou alone canst give me the thing desired. My soul longs for communion with Thee, for mortification of indwelling corruption, especially spiritual pride. How precious it is to have a tender sense and clear apprehension of the mystery of godliness, of true holiness! What a blessedness to be like Thee as much as it is possible for a creature to be like its creator! Lord, give me more of Thy likeness; enlarge my soul to contain fullness of holiness; engage me to live more for Thee. Help me to be less pleased with my spiritual experiences, and when I feel at ease after sweet communings, teach me it is far too little I know and do. Blessed Lord, let me climb up near to Thee, and love, and long, and plead, and wrestle with Thee, and pant for deliverance from the body of sin, for my heart is wandering and lifeless, and my soul mourns to think it should ever lose sight of its beloved. Wrap my life in divine love, and keep me ever desiring Thee, always humble and resigned to Thy will, more fixed on Thyself, that I may be more fitted for doing and-suffering. 

We really can't experience God and stay the same. He has to enlarge our souls for holiness to take root. That's been a prayer of mine this week, and it reminded me of Psalms 119 (one of my absolute favorite Psalms on the Word of God!).

"I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart!" Psalm 119:32

God must do some work in us to give us the ability to follow His commands. This work is the enlarging of our hearts, our weak, tiny, Grinch-like hearts.

So, thank you to my Secret Sister, whoever you are! If you see this, you totally helped encourage me in my prayer life this week. :)

xoxo