"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10
If you're like me (which you are), then you're work oriented. You tend to either view this verse as a command that must be followed, or you view it as an excuse to make guilt free quiet time while the dishes and laundry pile up. Tonight B is out, and it's just me and Ari at home, so I took some quiet time to reflect, read, and write. This is an excerpt taken from my notebook:
"I feel like I finally started paying attention more when I became a mom. I don't even want to take my eyes off the yellow-white light flickering through the papery tree leaves long enough to write this.
I guess I want to redeem every fleeting second I have with Ari. I want to remember every facial expression, memorize each movement of his eye brows, each new sound he delights in making. I feel like I want to immortalize each moment I spend with him.
I remember reading some trascendentalist in college who talked about seeing the world the way Adam did, everything captivating and so new for the very first time. I watch Ari look at the world that way amd it fills me with longing. It's almost like he sees the shards of perfection left in the world from the Fall. He's still amazed by the aspen's leaves in our yard each time we come out here. For two years now I've acted like this thing doesn't even exist anymore. That's how little I pay attention to it.
Seeing the way my little boy is exploring the world for the very first time gives me a desire to look at it with renewed eyes. Ari sees the genius of the Creator of the different textures of leaves, the very Creator who I seem to have forgotten about."
"It is my own believe (and here I shall not feel bad if no one follows me) that every good and beautiful thing which man has produced in the world has been the result of his faulty and sin-blocked response to the creative Voice sounding over the earth. The moral philosophers who dreamed their high dreams of virtue, the religious thinkers who speculated about God and immortality, the poets and artists who created out of common stuff pure and lasting beauty: How can we explain them? It is not enough to say simply, 'It was genius.'
What then is genius? Could it be that a genius is a man haunted by the speaking Voice, laboring and striving like one possessed to achieve ends which he only vaguely understands? "
-A.W. Tozer in 'The Pursuit of God' (pgs 74-5)
It's a heavenly perspective that gives us a greater appreciation for any creation or art.
Maybe Ari is still young enough, "sheltered" enough, or set apart from the world in such a way that he's being allowed time to cultivate this heavenly perspective. I don't know what it is, but almost every single time I pluck up any energy to pursue creative writing and cultivating inspiration for creating I get sucked into this thought that it's all vanity. That immediately kills any creative juices I got flowing.
After a quick conversation with a fellow artist this evening, I was reminded that it's actually selfish to not put time and effort into cultivating creativity so I have something to share with others. I totally view writing, music, art, and any other medium as creative gifts given straight from God. If that's the case, then it's my job to cultivate that gift in such a way that builds others up. I'd really be bummed today if I didn't have all the books C.S. Lewis wrote on my shelves because he put down the pen after hearing, "It's all vanity!" whispered in his ear. I know of a few people off the top of my head that wouldn't be Christians if he had never picked up a pen! How crazy is that!? It's heavy, actually. It means my words can actually make an impact for the Kingdom. Heavy stuff.
And with those thoughts, I post this piece in faith that God is using this blog to speak to someone tonight.
P.S. I find it helpful to find out what another writer or artist has been reading, watching, eating, listening to, etc to be creatively filled up, so I think I'll start sharing that with you guys. Tonight I was thumbing through an old favorite on art and faith, Walking on Water, as well as The Pursuit of God, which I can honestly say is one of the most challenging books I have ever read. And I read lots of books.
On the menu for this evening: whole wheat crackers, provolone cheese, and homemade nutter butters. Happy snacking and writing! ;)
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
"Set your minds on things that are above, and not on things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God."
This verse has popped into my head and study tons this week. (Someone must be trying to get my attention...) I'm having one problem with it. Maybe you can relate?
How in the world am I supposed to set my mind on things above when there's a pile of dirty sheets that need to be cleaned? And last night's dinner is still sitting on the stove? When my little guy can't breathe because his fallen body has given him a stuffy nose? When my charming dollhouse grows smaller and smaller, and all of my baby's accoutrements grow bigger and bigger? When dinner time is just around the corner and the race begins to get my boys fed?
I thought about this as I snuggled Ari on our bare bed this afternoon. I don't know the answer and please don't tell me you do because I know you really don't. Not on most days, at least. It's just takes faith, I guess. Trusting and believe in God's grace as constantly remaking all things new until the end. But if all of His goodness is so glorious, why does my little world seem so drab? Maybe it's just one of those days. Or lives. Maybe it's me. Or maybe that really is why we long for heaven. Because this world is drab and lacking to meet our real needs. Our needs that go much deeper than clean clothes and yummy dinners.
It won't be long. I belong somewhere past the setting sun.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
I can't stop eating these!! Literally, every day for lunch for the last...I don't know how long. Two, three weeks now? They are soooo good and I always have stuff on hand to make them. I first had them at a friend's house a few weeks ago while our husbands were rock climbing. Here's how she made them:
- Extra large tortilla wraps
- Spread some hummus in the middle (I've found this helps everything stick when you're eating it, so they don't fall apart)
- A few spoonfulls of quinoa (I've just been cooking a bunch at once and keeping it ready in the fridge for breakfast, lunch, and dinner...I've also heard you can freeze it)
- Red peppers (I've found a new love for red peppers!!)
- Pink Himalayan Salt (I swear, this stuff takes this wrap from being bland and full of veggies, to being so tasty and full of flavor!)
- Freshly ground black pepper
Oh yeah! I'm eating one as I type this. ;) You really can add whatever veggies you like or have on hand, this is just my favorite combo.
I've been trying, and quite often failing, to eat clean the last week or so. I've heard it helps balanace post-partum hormones. Crazy hormones or no crazy hormones, this wrap is delicious!! My other favorite clean eating recipe that I've found, which is also a sweet desert, are these Blonde Macaroons. Oh my!! Those didn't stick around for too long!! ;)
Happy eating! ;)