Note: This post is heavy on God's Word today. He has so many better things to say than I do, so I've been soaking it up this week. Hope it encourages someone else out there.
Tough question, Job. Very tough question. One I've been wrestling with for over a week now as I've watched very close friends grieve.
A verse that kept coming to my mind was Isaiah 42:2.
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall now overwhelm you..."
It rained a lot last week, which can alter my mood any day, but specifically on the days when all I seem to do is question. I had coffee with a friend this week, and afterwards she reminded me of a poem I wrote a while ago.
The First Rain: 40 Days of Grieving
Caused by sounds, screams,
Others out there,
With their deaf hearts and ears,
Their living breath almost gone,
And you, in here.
Trust, it is His reign.
Precipitation, pounding, drowning,
Punishment upon punishment.
Shouts distance, fade
Judgment has won
Yet doubt appears:
Is justice this mysterious?
Trust, it is His reign.
*Written spring of 2012
As you can see, there was lots of water on my mind this last week. Thank God for the warmth and sunshine we've had the last few days, especially today. When my daisy sprouted this week, it reminded me of Isaiah again, and then something else...
Not only does it take sunlight for growth in plants, but it takes lots and lots of water. The directions for these window plants actually say, "water generously." Wow. Do we think God is being generous to us when He allows the rainwaters to fall in our life, to the point where we feel like we're drowning in rivers of injustice? Do we trust He is reigning when He brings tumultuous downpour?
Then I read this passage this morning from Psalm 43:3-5:
"Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, o God, my God.
Why are you downcast, o my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God."
The note I sprawled in the margin beside this passage in my Bible was as follows:
"God can take our dark questions about life. He isn't scared of them. His response is sending out His light and truth to lead us in the darkness."
I can say I've seen God's Word truly lead my friends through darkness this week. God is the best leader ever. That's weird for me even to write now or think about, but it's true. He has the best strategy anyone could have as a leader: sending light and truth to us in our darkness. He sent Jesus. He sends His Holy Spirit. He uses His Word to guide us through fear.
God is SO big and powerful that He doesn't fear us questioning Him. He allows the rainwaters, rivers, and darkness to consume us, so He can lead us in His marvelous light, proving He alond is sufficient. It is a lie Satan wants us to believe when we think, out of not wanting to hurt God's feelings or whatever, we can't go to God with our deepest questions and doubts. Satan wants to stop open communication and block a venue for God to be able to prove Himself faithful to us. Don't let that happen. Be truthful with God so He can lead you in His truth.
Anyways, there are all of my ramblings and thoughts I just know you've been missing for the last week. ;) I'm praying God speaks to you somehow through it. Thanks for letting me share, readers!